were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
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