singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
The uberlube is also flammable
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
