i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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