I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
