That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
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