idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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