dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
