you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize
