You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
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