i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Randomize
