I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
