Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
