do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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