i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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