Someone shit on the floor
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
