My pussy is not your playground.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
