bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Randomize
