And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Randomize
