I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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