I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
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