i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
