You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
