so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
