last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
