Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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