if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
