Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
