What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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