im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
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