So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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