Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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