Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
i permit you to call me
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
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