She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
