White coat. Heels.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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