how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Randomize
