can we get nightvision for the apartment?
this beer tastes like vomit already
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
