oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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