He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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