I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
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