make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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