After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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