i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
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