I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
