Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
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