Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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