I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
