so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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