I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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