Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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