What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
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