You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
You know, be my cock's hype man.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
