this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
