marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Gay?
German.
Pity.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
