I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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