i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I didn't notice because vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
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