Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
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