If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
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