you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
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