If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Randomize
