Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
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