walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
