Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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